Boundaries, Mabes

Mabes is the complete opposite of me and Dave in so many ways, and this was only made more obvious tonight. Dave and I don't like to bother people. We're not pushy. We don't want to put people out, and would certainly never intrude. Mabes...not so much.


We went over to some friends' neighborhood, and the men took the kids trick-or-treating while the women stayed and handed out treats. Most kids are motivated by the idea of getting as much candy as possible and race door to door to get as much candy in as little time. Mabes thought it would be more fun to stay and chat, see what people were doing, and maybe even see what toys they had, as several times Dave had to pull her back as she went barrelling into peoples' houses.

(it's blurry because she's flying so fast)

At one point, they came up on a cul-de-sac party, and rather than go to where they were handing out candy, Mabes headed straight for the snack table and helped herself to some chips and candy corn, and was about to grab a hot dog when Dave caught up to her. Shortly after that, they crossed paths with a family who had a wagon. Seizing the opportunity while the kids were knocking on a door, Mabes hopped in the wagon and held tight as Dave tried to pull her out.


It was a fun night and Mabes had a blast. At one house, Mabes said loudly, "Wow, it's getting late! It's past my bedtime!" She did really well, and I was both shocked and thrilled that there was no demon-screaming tonight. Looks like the sticker chart is working!

Tired butterfly at the end of the night--notice the skiwampus wings and antennae.

Scream like a Demon Month

For all the trouble Mabes has given me in the sleep department, she's been a pretty easy going, go-with-the-flow kid. Lots of energy, but in reading "Raising Your Spirited Child," I decided that despite her sleep issues, high energy, and perceptiveness, she lacks the intensity and sensitivity that lead to the screaming tantrums that plague not only "spirited children," but most toddlers in general. Nice, I thought. I may have to be awake for hours at a time in the middle of the night, but I can handle that. I can function on little sleep. But I know myself, and knew I couldn't deal with a child who threw kicking-and-screaming fits for no reason, so thank heavens I didn't have to.

That all changed this month. It all started when Mabes threw herself on the floor screaming because she didn't like the shoes I put on her. Fine, let's change them. Then she realized we were meeting Hen(g)ry at Costco, and he'd be wearing tennis shoes, so she needed to wear her tennis shoes. Fine, change them again. Then she decided I needed to wear tennis shoes. That's where I draw the line, kid. I tried to explain that she can decide what she wears, but she's not the queen of the world and can't dictate everyone else's choices. Seeing that my logic was falling on deaf ears, I didn't even bother explaining how ridiculous tennis shoes would have looked with my outfit. We were late to Costco and I had a good laugh with Deserae about how crazy my kid was--I mean, really, who does that?

Mabes. That's who. She has continued to do this several times this month. And I must say, I prefer sleep issues. (Not that I have a choice, as they seem to be going hand-in-hand right now.) I'm hoping that this is a phase. This whole month has been rough--between Dave's trip to Singapore, our trip to Washington, and us being sick, Mabes hasn't been sleeping well and has just seemed unsettled. I'm hoping that as we get back into our regular routine, she'll be back to normal and stop this madness.

I was telling Dave how I don't like that October has become "Scream like a Demon" month, and he suggested that maybe it was a theme to go along with the spookiness of Halloween. Perhaps November will be "Gobble Like a Turkey" month--not unlikely, as there was a time when Mabes would shout "quack quack!" when she was frustrated--followed by " 'Ho Ho Ho' Instead of Hissy Fits" in December. In my mind, November works out to being something akin to the Bluth family and their various chicken dances (rent Arrested Development seasons 1-3 if you have no idea what I'm talking about, and thank me later), so I'm rather looking forward to it.

"It's my best Hawoween day!"

Tonight was our ward's Halloween party. I'm very, very sad it's over, because the promise of the Halloween party drastically improved Mabes' behavior and gave me the best night's sleep I've had in a while. (Travel+illness+girl who doesn't like to sleep at night anyway=sleep mayhem. Boo!) She was so excited for the party that several times during the day, she would randomly start jumping and clapping, yelling "I'm so essited for my Hawoween day!" We even practiced trick-or-treating with her knocking on the laundry room door so she would have the script memorized. I mean, I didn't want her freezing up and yelling "You're welcome!" or "I like toilet paper!" You never know with this kid.


Finally, after pleading with me to make it dark so we could go (I like that she thinks I control the sun), it was time to get her costume on. She had decided she wanted to be a butterfly this year, so we bought her wings and a leotard, and I made her tutu. Dave was rather disgusted when I told him about the tutu idea--"Butterflies don't wear tutus!" First of all, they do in my world. And second, since when did Halloween costumes have to be completely realistic and logical? Someone needs to watch Mean Girls again.


We went to the party and Mabes had a blast. Her friend Hen(g)ry was Spiderman, so much of the evening was spent with them chasing each other around the gym. At one point, Henry dropped to the ground in a ball and apparently Mabes wasn't paying attention (shocking), so she flipped over him. With her giant wings and fluffy tutu, it was both beautiful and hilarious, though Mabes was understandably not as amused.


And then it was on to trick-or-treating. The kids just went from room to room getting treats, but despite all our practice, Mabes saw all the candy and immediately forgot her lines. She was mesmerized.


As we drove home, Mabes just kept saying "Today is my best Hawoween day. I love my Hawoween. I think we'll have more Hawoween in the morning time! It's my best day."

Something is wrong...

Mabes opted to take a nap instead of eat lunch today.

First of all, you have to know by now that Mabes doesn't voluntarily take naps. And second, Mabes isn't one to miss a meal. So when both of those happened, we knew she was sick. Sure enough, she was running a low grade fever by the afternoon, ate about 2 bites of dinner, and then threw up on her placemat. Surprising how much she was able to expel, given that she had only had water and a couple of candy corn (bribery so she'd let me take her temp) all afternoon.

One of my greatest fears of becoming a mother was having a kid throw up. For some reason, poo completely down the legs of pants--which has happened on more than one occasion--didn't phase me, but I never thought I could handle vomit. But thankfully, my parents' reassurances of "it's different when it's your kid" had some merit. There's something so sad about a sick, subdued kid who has just thrown up on the table look at you with sad eyes and say, "uh, oh, mommy, I spit and it made a mess. I'm sorry I made a mess..." Having a stuffy nose helped with the clean-up, though. And thanks to Tylenol and a bath, Mabes was much more chipper by bedtime.

Captain's Log

After returning from Singapore Friday night, Dave told me he had to drive up to Washington on Monday for a conference. I really, really wanted to go (I mean, I'm 29, majored in political science, and had never been to our nation's capitol. That's just sad.), but given Mabes' temperament lately, I wasn't sure if this was the best idea. We decided to go for it, since I didn't love the idea of a jet-lagged Dave driving 7 hours by himself.

Thomas Jefferson Memorial

Tuesday morning, we dropped Dave off at his conference and then it was time for us to see the city. Given that I hate driving in big cities, Washington streets are confusing, and Mabes' insistence on questioning/commenting on EVERYTHING (and demanding an answer), the day was pretty amusing. Oh, and wanting to tear my hair out from listening to the same Primary CD for the 28th time in a row didn't help either. We parked at Potomac park and walked around. Immediately, Mabes tore off and ran down the grass to look at the boats, lost her footing, and slipped in a puddle of mud. I had a change of shorts, but she had to wear the dirty shirt. Why is mud the same color as poop? We walked a lot, watched planes land at Reagan airport, and walked to the FDR memorial. The Lincoln Memorial was just a little farther, but Mabes was getting tired of walking, so we started heading back to our car and stopped at the Jefferson Memorial. I tried to explain that it was a special place and we had to be very quiet, and she did pretty well. She threw a fit after we left, but hey, she was good at the memorials.

World War II Memorial

We went back to the hotel, had lunch, and she took a nap. She's doing her wide-awake-for-2-hours-in-the-middle-of-the-night-for-funsies thing again right now, so that, combined with the morning of walking, made for a nice nap. We picked Dave up from his conference, and headed to the Lincoln Memorial. Again, lots of walking, but Mabes put up with it.

Lincoln Memorial

Dave and Emaline at the Lincoln Memorial

On the way into the city, we passed by the Air Force Monument. Mabes decided that this was scary, and kept saying that it was scary. Dave said, "it's not scary--it's hair!" Seriously, Dave? You know that stray hairs are among the few things that scare her (an irrational fear she shares with her uncle Jeff)--you might as well tell her they're twigs.

Memorial Gate at Arlington National Cemetery

Wednesday morning, Mabes and I went to Arlington National Cemetery. Because of Dave's work schedule, we were limited to that and some driving around, but we got to see the Pentagon, and drove back into the city again. Mabes got excited when she recognized the buildings--"It's the Washngtn MOMUMIN!" "It's the Morial where we be quiet!"

The Capitol building Wednesday night...
...and Thursday morning

On Thursday, Dave dropped us off at the Capitol on his way to a meeting. We took some pictures and headed to the Natural History Museum. Mabes loved the dinosaurs and fish, but by the time we got to the History of Western Civilization exhibits, she was getting tired and was begging for her stroller (which we didn't bring, since hasn't ridden in a stroller in ages). We were running short on time, so we blew through the gemstones exhibit, saw the Hope Diamond, then made our way to the exit. I stopped to take one last picture in the atrium, only to realize that a tired and frustrated Mabes had thrown herself down, face to the ground, crying because she wanted to leave. Worried about judgmental stares from other parents, I picked her up and hurried out, but now I wish I had taken a picture because hey, it was funny.

Mabes meets a dinosaur

We walked several blocks to where we met Dave. It ended up being quite the walk, and Mabes alternated running, jumping, and complaining about how tired she was. She's got a long way to go before she qualifies for one of my dad's "death marches," but I'm starting to see why he never attempted those with little kids. So we weren't able to see as much as we did when Dave and I walked all over London, but I think Mabes did pretty well for a 3-year-old. We'll work our way up to a march deserving of the yellow legal pad.

And because it's cute: Mabes and Ricecake enjoy their queen sized bed

Heeeeeeeeeeeeee!

More later. In the last week, Dave returned from Singapore, Jackie came for a quick visit, and then we headed up to Washington for a conference for Dave and sightseeing for me and Mabes. I'll write a proper recap once I've tackled this load of laundry, put away some luggage, and maybe cleaned a little.

A new friend!

What, you don't see him? The pumpkin in her left hand. His name is Perry. She fell in love with him at the grocery store and refused to let him go. He ate lunch with her, she put him down for a nap, and he also woke up happy, though a little hungry for a snack. (Sidenote: She napped! I was actually quite surprised she didn't insist on napping with Perry. I was so desperate to get her to sleep that I would have let her.) He read books with us, he colored with us, but when I suggested he might be more comfortable in a stroller than on a folding chair, Mabes just looked at me with exasperation, "No, mommy, my strollers are for my babies. Perry is a pumpkin. That would be silly. Silly mommy."

Perry did, however, eat dinner with us, go to mutual with us, eat a cookie with her, and put on his pajamas and go to bed (without throwing a fit tonight), and Mabes has informed me that he will sleep all through and wake up happy when it's light outside. But he's a pumpkin, so he doesn't ride in the stroller. Because that would be crazy.

And since it's been a while...

Here are some random pictures of Mabes. Because let's face it, those are more fun than my rants, right?













Mabes in her new skirt from Grandma Ostler. A friend at church asked where she could get the grown-up size, and I was like, "lady, I would have been all over that..."














Mabes in her new raincoat. She's now ready for whatever crazy rainstorms the South would like to throw at her. Unfortunately, she insists on wearing it all day when it's raining. Because you never know when it could start raining inside Target. When we got it out, she said "Here's your coat, mommy! You're the mommy, so you can wear the mommy coat and say 'shush.' Because you're the mommy and you say 'shush' in your coat." First, I didn't know that I said 'shush' that much. Second, I didn't realize that my shush-ing ability was dependent on my outerwear.

Oh, and despite seeing long lines at the gas station yesterday, I drove by ours today and there was no line! I was at a quarter tank and starting to get nervous, so I went in, got my gas, and was out of there in 5 minutes. The decreased demand must have been a new thing, because they still had security/traffic directors there, but they were just sitting there enjoying the lack of cars. The relief of being able to actually find gas without waiting in line makes the sting of gas prices much easier to bear. Kind of like, "We're still going to kick you in the crotch, but at least you don't have to wait an hour for it." And I don't have to worry about being able to go to the grocery store.

So what do they do to the customers they don't value?

I went to the bank yesterday (Bank of America) to make a deposit. The teller was very friendly and told me to wait a minute. I momentarily got kind of excited, wondering if I was going to get something cool like the free flowers at Trader Joe's. Silly Allison, this isn't Trader Joe's. My bubble was burst when she brought out a disclosure statement and said that since I'm such a valued B of A customer I can have this great credit card blah blah blah. We get them in the mail all the time, so I thought nothing of it. I declined, she persisted, I said no thank you, she relented, Emaline got her lollipop, teller said "thanks so much, have a great day," and despite the pushiness, was really sweet. I thought they were supposed to be tightening up on credit, though.

Fast forward to last night. Slickdeals had a post to a free equifax credit score. I've never found out my score, I just get the free annual report. So Dave and I get our scores. His was a bit higher than mine, which was surprising (since our credit history is basically the same) and irritating (since I pay all the bills--his student loan probably helped his credit, but didn't even know what the monthy payment was). The main thing hurting mine was "recent inquiries." I hadn't had any hard pulls in over a year. I was due for my annual credit report from equifax, so I pulled it, and what do you know, there's was hard pull that day. Google the name, and it's a B of A card. Ummmm......

Found a number, called, and was told that yes, I had applied and been approved for a card today. The number should be assigned tomorrow. I explained the whole situation and the person was very helpful, said to call back after the number has been assigned and the account and inquiry will be removed from my credit report. Unfortunately, these things happen as employees and branches get incentives for the number of cards they open.

Even though I was quite confident everything could be worked out over the phone, Mabes and I headed back to the bank today to have words with the manager. I grabbed another lollipop to keep Mabes occupied. When the manager came out, she said, "Oh, you were just here yesterday--I remember those pigtails!" (Mabes', not mine.) Yes, it's that visit I'd like to discuss... Told her the whole thing, she was very nice, she said that's only happened one other time at their branch, and it's because the teller accidentally hit the "okay, get card" button instead of the "decline" button. Apparently it comes up when a customer comes in for a transaction. But then she said something about needing a signature in order to properly process it, so I'm not sure if the "honest mistake" thing was just a line. Everything should be resolved by next week, but I'm still ticked it's that easy for the bank to "accidentally" open a credit card that I very clearly stated I did not want.

On the way out, I grabbed another lollipop. I showed them!

Laura and Jemaine flip the bird at Bank of America.
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